








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,134 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1390 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1186 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1292 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1266 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $322,260 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exz0r | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Cyru$ | 47% | 120 |
| #3 | BjarniB | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Buttler | 45% | 99 |
| #5 | Aaron | 45% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | BjarniB | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Buttler | 45% | 99 |
| #5 | Aaron | 45% | 116 |
| #6 | Heimir | 45% | 76 |
| #7 | Faró | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aaron | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Cyru$ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyru$ | 512 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Aaron | 232 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Buttler | 185 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Heimir | 172 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | exz0r | 46 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyru$ | +3.10 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | Aaron | +1.06 | 48 | 65 |
| #3 | Buttler | -0.58 | 72 | 67 |
| #4 | Heimir | -1.43 | 60 | 59 |
| #5 | BjarniB | -1.65 | 54 | 59 |





