








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
221 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 387 | 27% |
| Smokes | 459 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 211 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 355 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,745 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shockie | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | [Churchill] donut | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Rogild | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | xpress^ | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | kANONSTRUP | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xpress^ | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | kANONSTRUP | 33% | 6 |
| #6 | Rogild | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | Cuuxi | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | [Churchill] Sjakkadellik | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rogild | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | xpress^ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | [Churchill] donut | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Churchill] donut | 106 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #2 | xpress^ | 28 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Shockie | 22 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #4 | Rogild | 20 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Rogild | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shockie | +8.86 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | kANONSTRUP | +6.88 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | [Churchill] donut | +3.67 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | Rogild | -1.38 | 33 | 31 |
| #5 | [Churchill] Zippoface | -1.58 | 24 | 65 |





