










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 49 | 8% |
| Smokes | 185 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 156 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 241 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,498 of utility $263 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kANONSTRUP | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | BadTox1c | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Rogild | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | [Churchill] donut | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Rogild | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Rogild | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | [Churchill] Zippoface | 33% | 6 |
| #7 | [Churchill] Sjakkadellik | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | xpress^ | 25% | 16 |
| #9 | Hr_BananaA | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xpress^ | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | [Churchill] Zippoface | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Churchill] donut | 55 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | xpress^ | 27 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | kANONSTRUP | 27 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | [Churchill] Zippoface | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | Rogild | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [Churchill] donut | +7.17 | 68 | 62 |
| #2 | kANONSTRUP | +6.41 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | Rogild | -0.77 | 45 | 42 |
| #4 | Rogild | -0.80 | 17 | 55 |
| #5 | [Churchill] Zippoface | -1.10 | 17 | 72 |





