








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 166 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,468 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 582 | 24% |
| Smokes | 849 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 518 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 519 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $201,126 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Limny ⸸ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Kat | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | xXx_Sexlord69_xXx | 76% | 21 |
| #4 | carlo ♤ | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | i hate this game :) | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Sykes | 60% | 45 |
| #10 | SamSakeR | 58% | 62 |
| #11 | w a l k e R R R | 52% | 23 |
| #12 | Jzzl | 50% | 4 |
| #13 | Callum- | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamSakeR | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | jamesta | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | w a l k e R R R | 2 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Sykes | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | i hate this game :) | 1 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamSakeR | 129 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | jamesta | 120 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sykes | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | xXx_Sexlord69_xXx | 91 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | w a l k e R R R | 54 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_Sexlord69_xXx | +4.39 | 82 | 77 |
| #2 | jamesta | +3.40 | 94 | 55 |
| #3 | i hate this game :) | +2.64 | 62 | 88 |
| #4 | w a l k e R R R | +1.17 | 59 | 74 |
| #5 | Limny ⸸ | +0.28 | 37 | 59 |





