








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 646 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 289 matches | ||
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6512 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6247 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5215 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5757 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,695,420 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeF | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | Twenty | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | TETRIS | 54% | 54 |
| #4 | jakehwho? | 53% | 283 |
| #5 | PsYcHoTiC | 52% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakehwho? | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | ommeh | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | extL Andehhz[KL] | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | PsYcHoTiC | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | bracktp | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jakehwho? | 700 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #2 | ommeh | 666 | 0.29 | 15 min |
| #3 | dippa | 258 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #4 | extL Andehhz[KL] | 254 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | DigitaL_HOODLUM | 208 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bracktp | +2.58 | 90 | 57 |
| #2 | jakehwho? | +1.59 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | ommeh | +0.70 | 59 | 70 |
| #4 | Simulation Theory | +0.39 | 43 | 63 |
| #5 | wu` | +0.39 | 75 | 68 |





