










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1589 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,782 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 816 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1263 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1725 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 978 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,827 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -bR0KUSHiMa | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | cuLsu | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | Qzn | 63% | 57 |
| #4 | optimus | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | fjiuM ツ | 52% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Princess Kenneth | 48% | 56 |
| #7 | YoungToast | 46% | 26 |
| #8 | Zorkey | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | uncle snoop^劈 | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | Swooty Zimbabwian | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Qzn | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Zorkey | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Princess Kenneth | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | YoungToast | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | 189 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Princess Kenneth | 99 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | uncle snoop^劈 | 82 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | YoungToast | 58 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Qzn | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fjiuM ツ | +7.40 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | optimus | +2.42 | 52 | 68 |
| #3 | cuLsu | +1.94 | 54 | 61 |
| #4 | -bR0KUSHiMa | +0.83 | 40 | 81 |
| #5 | quals | -0.25 | 62 | 55 |





