








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 669 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2661 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,537 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3682 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2883 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2708 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2264 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,363 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuya BAGSIK | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | reaLtalK | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | ☃toaf | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | R E J | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | foo | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ☃toaf | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | R E J | 51% | 87 |
| #5 | foo | 49% | 35 |
| #6 | KriM | 42% | 31 |
| #7 | MzPubStar* | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | foo | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | R E J | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | MzPubStar* | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R E J | 206 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | MzPubStar* | 178 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #3 | reaLtalK | 141 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | KriM | 83 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | ☃toaf | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .damndanielle | +1.42 | 61 | 74 |
| #2 | foo | +1.10 | 87 | 55 |
| #3 | ☃toaf | +0.65 | 59 | 63 |
| #4 | Kuya BAGSIK | +0.64 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | reaLtalK | +0.51 | 70 | 60 |





