








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,086 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2318 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2526 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2019 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $868,785 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dhp inimicaL | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | -TL- BrosefStalin | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | steezy | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | reaLtalK | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | .damndanielle | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dhp inimicaL | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | -TL- BrosefStalin | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | steezy | 54% | 48 |
| #4 | reaLtalK | 52% | 144 |
| #5 | .damndanielle | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | steezy | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | reaLtalK | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reaLtalK | 330 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | .damndanielle | 160 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | dhp inimicaL | 152 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #4 | -TL- BrosefStalin | 92 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | steezy | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -TL- BrosefStalin | +4.75 | 77 | 54 |
| #2 | foo | +1.77 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | steezy | +0.96 | 79 | 50 |
| #4 | .damndanielle | -0.17 | 64 | 72 |
| #5 | reaLtalK | -0.39 | 71 | 62 |





