










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 780 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5308 | 37% |
| Smokes | 3887 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2219 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3017 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,230 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 672 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaegr | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | sab | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Agent | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | toe | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | d0sky -GN- | 60% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | deadset | 57% | 40 |
| #7 | Jamie- | 55% | 22 |
| 53% | 32 | ||
| 53% | 19 | ||
| #10 | Peach | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaegr | 4 | 0.0122 |
| #2 | Agent | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | sab | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | toe | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0sky -GN- | 368 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Agent | 246 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | sab | 195 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | deadset | 161 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Peach | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaegr | +3.47 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | Jamie- | +1.83 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | toe | +1.80 | 89 | 64 |
| #4 | Sunde | +1.64 | 85 | 74 |
| #5 | Peach | +1.40 | 82 | 71 |





