








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2628 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1432 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1572 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 694 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $540,308 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dFUZE' | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | Au5t1n | 48% | 135 |
| #3 | SushiLasagna | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Kawshun! | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | erzrfx | 44% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | SushiLasagna | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Kawshun! | 45% | 55 |
| #5 | erzrfx | 44% | 137 |
| #6 | insanebob | 43% | 76 |
| #7 | fätböy | 39% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fätböy | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | erzrfx | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | insanebob | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Au5t1n | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Kawshun! | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erzrfx | 416 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | fätböy | 336 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Au5t1n | 261 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | insanebob | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | dFUZE' | 40 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kawshun! | +2.89 | 77 | 56 |
| #2 | dFUZE' | +1.30 | 55 | 73 |
| #3 | SushiLasagna | +1.10 | 54 | 40 |
| #4 | beazyb | +0.75 | 69 | 66 |
| #5 | insanebob | +0.27 | 21 | 55 |





