








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2503 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1613 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1917 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1868 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,996 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 50 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nklS- | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | IEM Cologne Jesus | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | Panigale# | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | paT | 50% | 196 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Panigale# | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | paT | 50% | 196 |
| #6 | crazy Horst | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | König Maggus | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paT | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Panigale# | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paT | 1371 | 0.32 | 33 min |
| #2 | Jack Bauerっ◔◡◔)っEmily | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #3 | König Maggus | 79 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | crazy Horst | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | nklS- | 36 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nklS- | +3.17 | 82 | 76 |
| #2 | crazy Horst | +3.15 | 65 | 55 |
| #3 | Panigale# | -0.04 | 67 | 30 |
| #4 | König Maggus | -0.14 | 63 | 65 |
| #5 | grfbhhhdkl | -0.44 | 51 | 65 |





