








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1351 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 376 matches | ||
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 270 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9409 | 25% |
| Smokes | 10903 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 8107 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 9165 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,478,465 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | skunkner | 53% | 51 |
| #12 | ahrens | 49% | 70 |
| #13 | jns | 44% | 66 |
| #14 | Xu---X> | 38% | 47 |
| #15 | mrconjurer | 37% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | micha` | 8 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | chrizz | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | [Tp:B] ☾︎⭐️ **Яe∂a♡ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | jns | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | fuqdat. | 3 | 0.0027 |





