








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 483 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 102 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8737 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7195 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6791 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6630 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,986,267 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | -_-Calli | 58% | 251 |
| #6 | chrizz | 57% | 488 |
| #7 | def4ult:v | 56% | 222 |
| #8 | FrosTy | 56% | 95 |
| #9 | TubeYou | 55% | 74 |





