








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1318 | 36% |
| Smokes | 793 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 993 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 556 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,192 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | m0ndayw0w d:] | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | azpnG | 46% | 72 |
| #8 | ollO | 46% | 68 |
| #9 | nolleR | 45% | 73 |
| #10 | bjoernsoN1 | 44% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjoernsoN1 | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | ollO | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | aslak | 2 | 0.0171 |
| #4 | azpnG | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | nolleR | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nolleR | 108 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | bjoernsoN1 | 82 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | ollO | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | azpnG | 78 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | aro | 53 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | square | +5.45 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | m0ndayw0w d:] | +3.95 | 87 | 49 |
| #3 | aslak | +1.83 | 85 | 41 |
| #4 | nolleR | +1.32 | 62 | 70 |
| #5 | aro | +1.30 | 67 | 70 |





