








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,692 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1665 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 943 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1222 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $796,700 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | eclipseN | 46% | 72 |
| #7 | bjoernsoN1 | 43% | 109 |
| #8 | ollO | 43% | 137 |
| #9 | h3d | 37% | 19 |
| #10 | rigdeMonkey | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ollO | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | bjoernsoN1 | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | eclipseN | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | nolleR | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | h3d | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eclipseN | 288 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | nolleR | 192 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | ollO | 155 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | bjoernsoN1 | 144 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | aro | 114 | 0.13 | 3 min |





