








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1853 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1136 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2105 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1025 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $137,730 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | lady_gLaab | 45% | 51 |
| #8 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Bully Maguire | 40% | 10 |
| #10 | .Jeffwee Truberman | 29% | 7 |
| #11 | HyP | bubly | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lady_gLaab | 7 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | gLaab | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | KBX[29] | 2 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Bully Maguire | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | HyP | bubly | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gLaab | 154 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | HyP | bubly | 40 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | lady_gLaab | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | KBX[29] | 15 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | SACRED PERSIAN STROKER | 14 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slappers | +3.76 | 63 | 41 |
| #2 | Bully Maguire | +3.21 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | gLaab | +2.28 | 52 | 73 |
| #4 | KBX[29] | +1.88 | 57 | 60 |
| #5 | wanGo | +1.57 | 66 | 59 |





