








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1575 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1034 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1372 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1364 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $406,767 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SalmO | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | CAYNE | 79% | 14 |
| #3 | Cluts | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | decko | 76% | 41 |
| #5 | dxn- | 75% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akin | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | robby1 | 6 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | decko | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | sherps | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | dxn- | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | akin | 373 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | robby1 | 363 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | dxn- | 102 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Danski | 81 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | decko | 64 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robby1 | +4.50 | 90 | 76 |
| #2 | decko | +2.08 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | benZ | +2.05 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | sherps | +1.83 | 87 | 52 |
| #5 | damms | +1.55 | 63 | 69 |





