








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 713 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Esplay | 100 matches | 2,092 | |
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3774 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6951 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5470 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3664 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4064 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $993,785 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | X.x | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | parow | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | plex | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | mIKAELP | 50% | 32 |
| #5 | AFFE | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parow | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | ZeRostyle! | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | plex | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | elect | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elect | 142 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | mIKAELP | 141 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fornes | 134 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | plex | 97 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | AFFE | 86 | 0.08 | 2 min |





