








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
155 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 151 | 27% |
| Smokes | 165 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 174 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 62 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $15,912 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JRG | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Humble | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | baeks o-('-'Q) | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Cornelius Hornswoggle | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | ★KladySs★ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JRG | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Humble | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | baeks o-('-'Q) | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Cornelius Hornswoggle | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | ★KladySs★ | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baeks o-('-'Q) | 41 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Humble | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | ★KladySs★ | 9 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | Cornelius Hornswoggle | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | JRG | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JRG | +10.52 | 79 | 25 |
| #2 | PLUSPUNKT o-('-'Q) | +1.80 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | baeks o-('-'Q) | +0.23 | 64 | 76 |
| #4 | Cornelius Hornswoggle | -0.67 | 48 | 45 |
| #5 | Humble | -0.80 | 36 | 41 |





