








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3909 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2863 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2576 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2172 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $598,213 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 496 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vINYARD[w] | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | Scoop . ツ | 71% | 24 |
| #3 | FRAGj | 69% | 35 |
| #4 | soki | 68% | 28 |
| #5 | Cetrix | 65% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TeeJay | 64% | 14 |
| #8 | yungdavgod | 64% | 25 |
| #9 | PETIT TESTICULE | 56% | 16 |
| #10 | Next | 49% | 81 |
| #11 | Komea | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Next | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | TeeJay | 3 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | yungdavgod | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | PETIT TESTICULE | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Cetrix | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cetrix | 256 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | Next | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | soki | 168 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #4 | yungdavgod | 111 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #5 | vINYARD[w] | 92 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cetrix | +3.30 | 88 | 69 |
| #2 | FRAGj | +2.73 | 78 | 58 |
| #3 | Dono | +1.38 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | PETIT TESTICULE | +0.63 | 70 | 73 |
| #5 | Scoop . ツ | +0.42 | 58 | 64 |





