








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5970 | 38% |
| Smokes | 4771 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1525 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3599 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,093,224 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dono | 65% | 40 |
| #2 | Cokes | 58% | 65 |
| #3 | Komea | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | TeeJay | 52% | 241 |
| #5 | Next | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TeeJay | 52% | 241 |
| #5 | Next | 52% | 33 |
| #6 | El Baxinho | 50% | 189 |
| #7 | MIBAC | 49% | 94 |
| #8 | Louie | 43% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Baxinho | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | TeeJay | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | MIBAC | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Louie | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Dono | 4 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TeeJay | 420 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | El Baxinho | 388 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | Cokes | 209 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | Dono | 195 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | Louie | 179 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cetrix | +4.11 | 87 | 69 |
| #2 | Next | +1.85 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Dono | +1.21 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | Cokes | +0.55 | 54 | 58 |
| #5 | Louie | -0.85 | 64 | 48 |





