








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 284 matches | ||
| Premier | 176 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5373 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8123 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4599 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 5686 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5586 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,423,529 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1LM0NEY | 62% | 69 |
| #2 | Hinoth | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | J' | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | whirlwind119 | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | ConTex | 52% | 252 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Hinoth | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | J' | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | whirlwind119 | 55% | 55 |
| #5 | ConTex | 52% | 252 |
| #6 | 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙚_𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 $waggot | 47% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙚_𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 $waggot | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ConTex | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | J' | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | whirlwind119 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ConTex | 672 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #2 | L1LM0NEY | 139 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | J' | 139 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | Hinoth | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | whirlwind119 | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hinoth | +1.40 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | Green Eyes! | +1.20 | 53 | 67 |
| #3 | J' | +0.38 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | ConTex | +0.14 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙚_𝙜𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 $waggot | -0.44 | 48 | 18 |





