








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8311 | 39% |
| Smokes | 5430 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4170 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3131 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,225 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kelly | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | ConTex | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | Green Eyes! | 55% | 42 |
| #4 | Gold #SkinsMonkey | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Ach17d | 51% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Ach17d | 51% | 41 |
| #6 | 5H0T5 | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Curse | 47% | 58 |
| #8 | 𝕰𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖑 | 45% | 112 |
| #9 | Tip | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕰𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖑 | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ConTex | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | 5H0T5 | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Gold #SkinsMonkey | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Ach17d | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕰𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖑 | 323 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tip | 206 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ach17d | 191 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Green Eyes! | 164 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | ConTex | 148 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tip | +2.41 | 59 | 68 |
| #2 | 𝕰𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖓𝖆𝖑 | +2.05 | 66 | 66 |
| #3 | 5H0T5 | +1.47 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | J' | +0.88 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | Curse | +0.72 | 85 | 54 |





