








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2304 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2695 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1921 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2072 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1520 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,194 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | LOENERT | 48% | 25 |
| #9 | Swaggy McYolotroloton | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | 4nti | 44% | 39 |
| #11 | Xenake | 43% | 28 |
| #12 | Stiess | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rijst | 180 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | CHEECH | 179 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tijl. | 136 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | Noah Fence | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | clitmaster | 106 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clitmaster | +2.98 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | Stiess | +2.54 | 57 | 65 |
| #3 | Tijl. | +2.14 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | Noah Fence | +0.89 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | Swaggy McYolotroloton | +0.29 | 61 | 74 |





