








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1460 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1938 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1620 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1319 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $437,817 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thqst | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | its me, juan! | 48% | 134 |
| #3 | gTH | 47% | 149 |
| #4 | Schnatterer#7 | 45% | 165 |
| #5 | neo | 43% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | its me, juan! | 48% | 134 |
| #3 | gTH | 47% | 149 |
| #4 | Schnatterer#7 | 45% | 165 |
| #5 | neo | 43% | 60 |
| #6 | CA7 | 42% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnatterer#7 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | gTH | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | CA7 | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | its me, juan! | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | neo | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gTH | 384 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Schnatterer#7 | 317 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | its me, juan! | 300 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | neo | 120 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | CA7 | 73 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thqst | +3.04 | 70 | 66 |
| #2 | its me, juan! | +2.49 | 71 | 76 |
| #3 | åns | +0.58 | 48 | 68 |
| #4 | Schnatterer#7 | -0.83 | 40 | 77 |
| #5 | gTH | -0.84 | 53 | 77 |





