








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2043 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1458 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1718 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 978 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,224 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haamu | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | tiGer | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | GUENNI | 58% | 26 |
| #4 | WH00Tausbruch! | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | cr0w | 53% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | cr0w | 53% | 36 |
| #6 | WarTi | 46% | 28 |
| #7 | th0msN | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | Methodman | 46% | 24 |
| #9 | ^ N u i # . _ | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cr0w | 10 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | WH00Tausbruch! | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | GUENNI | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Methodman | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | haamu | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WarTi | 119 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | cr0w | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Methodman | 88 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | WH00Tausbruch! | 80 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | GUENNI | 65 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haamu | +3.99 | 79 | 50 |
| #2 | th0msN | +2.88 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | WH00Tausbruch! | +1.63 | 86 | 73 |
| #4 | WarTi | +1.20 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | Methodman | +0.86 | 79 | 63 |





