








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,961 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1958 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1725 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1739 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1539 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,893 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LOCHER | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | kronix | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | WH00Tausbruch! | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | hARDN6 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | LΛZY | 54% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | kronix | 64% | 33 |
| #3 | WH00Tausbruch! | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | hARDN6 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | LΛZY | 54% | 65 |
| #6 | eXeL-´ | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LΛZY | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | WH00Tausbruch! | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | eXeL-´ | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LΛZY | 261 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #2 | WH00Tausbruch! | 164 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | kronix | 76 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | LOCHER | 54 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | hARDN6 | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WH00Tausbruch! | +2.41 | 82 | 71 |
| #2 | LΛZY | +2.39 | 82 | 63 |
| #3 | kronix | +1.35 | 83 | 58 |
| #4 | eXeL-´ | +0.55 | 89 | 66 |
| #5 | LOCHER | +0.00 | 59 | 73 |





