








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
966 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1111 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1032 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 784 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 706 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,203 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spede_ | 83% | 12 |
| #2 | take2 | 71% | 42 |
| #3 | Der#Ficker | 69% | 59 |
| #4 | MaXXimuS | 69% | 35 |
| #5 | Temi1337 | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | take2 | 71% | 42 |
| #3 | Der#Ficker | 69% | 59 |
| #4 | MaXXimuS | 69% | 35 |
| #5 | Temi1337 | 67% | 12 |
| #6 | Rap0wnzel | 66% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaXXimuS | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Temi1337 | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Der#Ficker | 255 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | MaXXimuS | 133 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | take2 | 131 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | spede_ | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rap0wnzel | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | appuccino | +1.87 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Der#Ficker | +0.76 | 69 | 73 |
| #3 | MaXXimuS | +0.68 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | take2 | +0.26 | 66 | 68 |
| #5 | spede_ | -0.01 | 71 | 82 |





