








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2519 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 783 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19866 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 82,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19373 | 24% |
| Smokes | 16859 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 28940 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 16849 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $11,404,726 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3100 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ۞ | 51% | 141 |
| #2 | DaDDy♛CooL | 51% | 150 |
| #3 | ☣♛ ΜДŠŤΞЯ Ist ja irre ♛☣ | 50% | 150 |
| #4 | Endgegner | 48% | 268 |
| #5 | Angelina | 48% | 262 |





