








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3669 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,282 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4048 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4882 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2157 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3195 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,942 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aux | 64% | 44 |
| #2 | DchozN | 63% | 30 |
| #3 | scales | 62% | 79 |
| #4 | avi | 57% | 67 |
| #5 | StrangeloV | 56% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | alski | 52% | 81 |
| #9 | 3xON | 51% | 37 |
| #10 | DARK MikeisGod | 49% | 78 |
| #11 | Braxty | 48% | 73 |
| #12 | exigent | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StrangeloV | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | scales | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | alski | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | DARK MikeisGod | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | DchozN | 2 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StrangeloV | 371 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | alski | 288 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | scales | 261 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | DARK MikeisGod | 242 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Braxty | 226 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scales | +2.69 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | StrangeloV | +1.84 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | exigent | +0.72 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | DARK MikeisGod | +0.64 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | SupaFreak | +0.58 | 50 | 65 |





