








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 295 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3426 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4546 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4874 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4781 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2702 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $822,075 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nereus | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | eRa | 50% | 142 |
| #3 | Hoppsan | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Lille John | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Dopa_ | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nereus | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | eRa | 50% | 142 |
| #3 | Hoppsan | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Lille John | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | Dopa_ | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRa | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Hoppsan | 5 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Lille John | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRa | 470 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | nereus | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lille John | 54 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dopa_ | 35 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hoppsan | 16 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoppsan | +1.28 | 69 | 39 |
| #2 | mio_ | +0.33 | 54 | 76 |
| #3 | nereus | +0.32 | 66 | 69 |
| #4 | Lille John | -0.04 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | eRa | -0.39 | 59 | 72 |





