








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,415 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2360 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2287 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1976 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2792 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,613 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoppsan | 53% | 116 |
| #2 | eRa | 50% | 130 |
| #3 | الله | 48% | 40 |
| #4 | mio_ | 45% | 40 |
| #5 | The Maker | 45% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hoppsan | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | The Maker | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | eRa | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | الله | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Oboy | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eRa | 345 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | mio_ | 108 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | Hoppsan | 83 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | Oboy | 30 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Maker | 29 | 0.01 | 1 min |





