








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 859 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 378 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6507 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7069 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6243 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5995 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7155 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,330,398 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffles | 50% | 105 |
| #2 | `Ni3nna_#63 | 46% | 127 |
| #3 | VinZO | 44% | 121 |
| #4 | MiissLala | 41% | 174 |
| #5 | Chemi | 40% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chemi | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | `Ni3nna_#63 | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | MiissLala | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | emO- | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Sniffles | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sniffles | 589 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | VinZO | 406 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | Chemi | 221 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | `Ni3nna_#63 | 175 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | MiissLala | 157 | 0.04 | 3 min |





