










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1445 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,177 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1459 | 35% |
| Smokes | 935 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 700 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $850,213 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolle1337 | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | aykaramba2k | 52% | 23 |
| #3 | detto | 49% | 53 |
| #4 | neok | 47% | 19 |
| #5 | CadEt ClUtch PWNer | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BluM3nTopF | 34% | 44 |
| #9 | Coin | 33% | 54 |
| #10 | Dr.Robbe | 31% | 13 |
| #11 | carni | 28% | 18 |
| #12 | jay | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coin | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | BluM3nTopF | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Dr.Robbe | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | jay | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | detto | 142 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Coin | 68 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | BluM3nTopF | 56 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bolle1337 | 54 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Donald | 44 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tipsen | +6.64 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | neok | +1.47 | 64 | 60 |
| #3 | CadEt ClUtch PWNer | +0.98 | 63 | 48 |
| #4 | detto | -0.08 | 56 | 71 |
| #5 | LuCasn | -0.08 | 42 | 59 |





