








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1330 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 511 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6069 | 21% |
| Smokes | 10677 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 5812 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5915 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,296,389 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BluM3nTopF | 15 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | r0z0nid | 9 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | jay | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ✫SeeNon✫ | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | hieorg | 6 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hieorg | 1627 | 0.29 | 38 min |
| #2 | BluM3nTopF | 782 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #3 | jay | 654 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | r0z0nid | 521 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #5 | Tipsen | 420 | 0.10 | 13 min |





