








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 398 | 11% |
| Smokes | 833 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1230 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,646 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riA | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | eggiFUNCTION- | 82% | 11 |
| #3 | 's1ck | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | B Sim | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | LuSharp | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | x/o khA9z | 42% | 12 |
| #12 | eMbo | 38% | 16 |
| #13 | Faró | 35% | 17 |
| #14 | Cyru$ | 33% | 9 |
| #15 | TEsA | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eMbo | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | TEsA | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Cyru$ | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hz | 71 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | TEsA | 49 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | eMbo | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Faró | 37 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | 'SýningarmaðuriNN | 35 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hz | +2.51 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | eggiFUNCTION- | +1.91 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | riA | +1.34 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | TEsA | +1.15 | 30 | 67 |
| #5 | Cyru$ | +0.97 | 74 | 80 |





