








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 290 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,295 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1710 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2859 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2600 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2126 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,014 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aleksi | 56% | 104 |
| #2 | WintRy- | 56% | 104 |
| #3 | Lowie | 56% | 106 |
| #4 | Kreisi | 55% | 106 |
| #5 | FiveSeven | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WintRy- | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Lowie | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Kusinen kiintiö tinkki | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | jarkkob | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Kreisi | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kreisi | 613 | 0.26 | 22 min |
| #2 | pikku-e | 423 | 0.30 | 14 min |
| #3 | Lowie | 239 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | koiranperse | 146 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | XNTON | 145 | 0.19 | 4 min |





