








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
986 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1014 | 30% |
| Smokes | 940 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $305,552 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | system1 | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | mikke | 73% | 11 |
| #3 | Suqp3r | 69% | 26 |
| #4 | saNdi | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | PETT1_ | 66% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rikama | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | varjolenkkari | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PETT1_ | 110 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #2 | zet0r | 86 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #3 | Suqp3r | 74 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | system1 | 69 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | mikke | 51 | 0.21 | 2 min |





