








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 174 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2355 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2418 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3098 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1842 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $676,906 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 228 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suqp3r | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | saNdi | 76% | 34 |
| #3 | natu | 75% | 16 |
| #4 | PETT1_ | 74% | 42 |
| #5 | Tygar0 | 65% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | allu | 60% | 30 |
| #8 | BIBAS | 60% | 35 |
| #9 | dalai | 59% | 22 |
| #10 | PalihaX̃Y | 54% | 46 |
| #11 | Baamio | 54% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TÖRPPÖ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | saNdi | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TÖRPPÖ | 264 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | PalihaX̃Y | 160 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | saNdi | 158 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | BIBAS | 142 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | PETT1_ | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baamio | +4.00 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | PETT1_ | +3.59 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | saNdi | +1.64 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | system1 | +1.23 | 39 | 86 |
| #5 | BIBAS | +0.78 | 75 | 75 |





