










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
193 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 264 | 33% |
| Smokes | 220 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 179 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 133 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $43,473 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Xylo 50hz | 50% | 2 |
| #5 | yourlocalfinesser56 | 50% | 2 |
| #6 | Access | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | celeritas | 14% | 7 |
| #8 | FalcoN? | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celeritas | 2 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | yourlocalfinesser56 | 1 | 0.0256 |
| #3 | Xylo 50hz | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celeritas | 23 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #2 | FalcoN? | 7 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #3 | Access | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | Xylo 50hz | 4 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | yourlocalfinesser56 | 3 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | boomstamper | +16.83 | 60 | 69 |
| #2 | TheSwedishIceKing | +4.83 | 37 | 59 |
| #3 | Xylo 50hz | +4.09 | 52 | 34 |
| #4 | Titus | +2.58 | 74 | 46 |
| #5 | yourlocalfinesser56 | -2.31 | 5 | 2 |





