










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
364 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 750 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 32% |
| Smokes | 111 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 212 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 185 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,904 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BAPPO | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Cupra | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | RAUD | 50% | 12 |
| #4 | Bober | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Osama bin Laden | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bober | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | Osama bin Laden | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | ballerina capuccina | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Virsik | 0% | 2 |
| #8 | JokG | 0% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAUD | 16 | 0.0762 |
| #2 | Bober | 3 | 0.0216 |
| #3 | ballerina capuccina | 3 | 0.0469 |
| #4 | BAPPO | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Osama bin Laden | 1 | 0.0145 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAUD | 46 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #2 | BAPPO | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | ballerina capuccina | 27 | 0.42 | 1 min |
| #4 | Osama bin Laden | 17 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #5 | Bober | 12 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAUD | +5.61 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | P1mple | +2.89 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | BAPPO | -1.51 | 28 | 53 |
| #4 | ballerina capuccina | -1.60 | 60 | 52 |
| #5 | JokG | -2.36 | 55 | 25 |





