








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 968 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2044 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1517 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $739,085 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arcane the human flashbang | 53% | 196 |
| #2 | ♡ Daddy Squid ♡ | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | kklaus | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Kingswap | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Th3Guit4rDud3 | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arcane the human flashbang | 53% | 196 |
| #2 | ♡ Daddy Squid ♡ | 51% | 131 |
| #3 | kklaus | 48% | 25 |
| #4 | Kingswap | 41% | 37 |
| #5 | Th3Guit4rDud3 | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Daddy Squid ♡ | 23 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Kingswap | 9 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | Arcane the human flashbang | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | kklaus | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♡ Daddy Squid ♡ | 338 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Kingswap | 75 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | kklaus | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Th3Guit4rDud3 | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Arcane the human flashbang | 13 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpuddleMe | +2.95 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | ♡ Daddy Squid ♡ | +0.69 | 52 | 46 |
| #3 | kklaus | -0.18 | 20 | 52 |
| #4 | Kingswap | -1.49 | 55 | 38 |
| #5 | Arcane the human flashbang | -2.58 | 16 | 25 |





