








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 903 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 164 | 18% |
| Smokes | 449 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 156 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 134 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $606,476 of utility $332 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Project (next s1mple) | 52% | 54 |
| #2 | MartoxBOSS | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | feisty! | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | gancho635 | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | xxxx | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MartoxBOSS | 51% | 37 |
| #3 | feisty! | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | gancho635 | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | xxxx | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | Project (next m0NESY) | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Project (next s1mple) | 14 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | gancho635 | 11 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Project (next m0NESY) | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | MartoxBOSS | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | feisty! | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Project (next s1mple) | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | MartoxBOSS | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | gancho635 | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | feisty! | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Project (next m0NESY) | 13 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feisty! | +5.94 | 46 | 17 |
| #2 | FloSty | +2.53 | 36 | 28 |
| #3 | xxxx | +2.46 | 34 | 18 |
| #4 | gancho635 | +1.00 | 12 | 16 |
| #5 | Project (next s1mple) | -1.05 | 38 | 18 |





