








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1710 | 47% |
| Smokes | 580 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 624 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 761 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,047 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B-Boem | 47% | 32 |
| #2 | DasMonke | 46% | 85 |
| #3 | Tijsman | 41% | 46 |
| #4 | gruby kot | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | Netonix | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B-Boem | 47% | 32 |
| #2 | DasMonke | 46% | 85 |
| #3 | Tijsman | 41% | 46 |
| #4 | gruby kot | 39% | 38 |
| #5 | Netonix | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijsman | 41 | 0.0457 |
| #2 | DasMonke | 22 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | B-Boem | 9 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | Netonix | 5 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | gruby kot | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijsman | 228 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | DasMonke | 176 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Netonix | 41 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | B-Boem | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | gruby kot | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijsman | +6.19 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | DasMonke | +2.11 | 46 | 42 |
| #3 | B-Boem | +1.37 | 33 | 38 |
| #4 | gruby kot | -0.06 | 54 | 36 |
| #5 | Netonix | -0.33 | 33 | 39 |





