










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 255 | 14% |
| Smokes | 178 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 746 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 604 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $36,463 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloover | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | gruby kot | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | DasMonke | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Rikku6405 | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | Tijsman | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gloover | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | gruby kot | 65% | 34 |
| #3 | DasMonke | 52% | 93 |
| #4 | Rikku6405 | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | Tijsman | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DasMonke | 21 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Tijsman | 5 | 0.0172 |
| #3 | Rikku6405 | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | gruby kot | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DasMonke | 128 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #2 | Rikku6405 | 60 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Tijsman | 51 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | gruby kot | 7 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gloover | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tijsman | +4.76 | 61 | 56 |
| #2 | Gloover | +2.22 | 35 | 39 |
| #3 | DasMonke | +1.05 | 43 | 47 |
| #4 | B-Boem | +0.05 | 29 | 40 |
| #5 | gruby kot | -0.27 | 55 | 31 |





