








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




73 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
952 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,622 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 603 | 17% |
| Smokes | 929 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1146 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 944 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $581,850 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | George | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | Invisible | 57% | 83 |
| #3 | Leigh Badcocke | 52% | 106 |
| #4 | Bruno Sars™ | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | MaartenM | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invisible | 71 | 0.0459 |
| #2 | George | 21 | 0.0228 |
| #3 | Leigh Badcocke | 19 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | MaartenM | 14 | 0.0170 |
| #5 | Bruno Sars™ | 9 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leigh Badcocke | 175 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Bruno Sars™ | 102 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Invisible | 97 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | George | 39 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | MaartenM | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invisible | +4.84 | 82 | 32 |
| #2 | Bruno Sars™ | +1.69 | 54 | 63 |
| #3 | Leigh Badcocke | +1.46 | 48 | 60 |
| #4 | MaartenM | -0.95 | 43 | 37 |
| #5 | George | -1.16 | 59 | 17 |





