








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 167 | 13% |
| Smokes | 181 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 446 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 452 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $365,548 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1806 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knee Grow | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | Invisible | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | Bruno Sars™ | 54% | 59 |
| #4 | Leigh Badcocke | 53% | 108 |
| #5 | MaartenM | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invisible | 41 | 0.0440 |
| #2 | Knee Grow | 24 | 0.0265 |
| #3 | Leigh Badcocke | 18 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | Bruno Sars™ | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | MaartenM | 8 | 0.0209 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leigh Badcocke | 117 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | Bruno Sars™ | 104 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | Knee Grow | 71 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Invisible | 70 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | MaartenM | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invisible | +5.39 | 82 | 34 |
| #2 | Leigh Badcocke | +2.44 | 44 | 59 |
| #3 | Bruno Sars™ | +0.92 | 62 | 65 |
| #4 | MaartenM | -0.26 | 46 | 28 |
| #5 | Knee Grow | -1.54 | 27 | 28 |





