










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 799 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 288 | 36% |
| Smokes | 94 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 311 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 106 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $330,527 of utility $353 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 346 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big d.j.t | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Chinese BBQ Breetu | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Zenning | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | GarhuOP | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | d1w | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zenning | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | GarhuOP | 52% | 29 |
| #5 | d1w | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | ziv7 | 50% | 6 |
| #7 | Professional Retard | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GarhuOP | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Professional Retard | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | ziv7 | 4 | 0.0417 |
| #4 | Chinese BBQ Breetu | 3 | 0.0219 |
| #5 | d1w | 1 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professional Retard | 40 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Zenning | 33 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | ziv7 | 22 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | d1w | 22 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | big d.j.t | 17 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Professional Retard | +5.07 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | ziv7 | +4.96 | 73 | 78 |
| #3 | Zenning | +4.87 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | d1w | +2.19 | 58 | 93 |
| #5 | Sinuhe Egyptiläinen | +1.21 | 57 | 51 |





