








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1753 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1528 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 708 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1337 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,385,154 of utility $233 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1552 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micheliche33 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | beanboy9000 | 49% | 230 |
| #3 | Dagoth Ur | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | jeremydrums | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Micheliche33 | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | beanboy9000 | 49% | 230 |
| #3 | Dagoth Ur | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | jeremydrums | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beanboy9000 | 13 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Dagoth Ur | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | jeremydrums | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beanboy9000 | 155 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #2 | jeremydrums | 149 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dagoth Ur | 147 | 0.37 | 4 min |
| #4 | Micheliche33 | 47 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P0intZero | +2.93 | 58 | 41 |
| #2 | Dagoth Ur | +1.77 | 42 | 67 |
| #3 | Micheliche33 | +0.63 | 44 | 72 |
| #4 | beanboy9000 | -2.73 | 46 | 34 |
| #5 | jeremydrums | -2.99 | 25 | 45 |





