








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
925 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,489 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 656 | 26% |
| Smokes | 477 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 702 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 654 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $642,309 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 47% | 88 |
| #3 | superswager | 39% | 33 |
| #4 | Flexxis | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo | 51% | 41 |
| #2 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 47% | 88 |
| #3 | superswager | 39% | 33 |
| #4 | Flexxis | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 30 | 0.0186 |
| #2 | superswager | 22 | 0.0353 |
| #3 | Bob Tschigerillo | 17 | 0.0221 |
| #4 | Flexxis | 11 | 0.0264 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | 326 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | superswager | 136 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bob Tschigerillo | 67 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Flexxis | 24 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob Tschigerillo | +7.39 | 40 | 34 |
| #2 | Flexxis | +3.95 | 32 | 42 |
| #3 | superswager | +3.54 | 25 | 54 |
| #4 | ~ππΈπΈπ·π~ | +0.62 | 10 | 41 |
| #5 | Maggus | -3.94 | 11 | 31 |





